Spay Me?

This is not a difficult equation.

The following is an example of  “Columbus’ Egg”.  Columbus’ Egg refers to an idea that seems simple, or easy once it has been discovered. Columbus, upon being challenged that the discovery of America was a simple feat, posed the following conundrum to his critics : Make an egg stand on its tip. After confounding his critics for several days, Columbus stridently but gently tapped an egg’s tip, cracking it slightly and flattening it. It stood.

Not only a Crowning Moment of Awesome, the EGGVENTURE discombobulated his critics who ended up with EGG ON THEIR FACES.

Ahem.

I chanced upon another annoyingly in-your-face-why-didn’t-I-think-of-that entry at http://www.ultimatestartupspace.com.sg, which involves the sale of perfume by the spray. Analysis by very bored or very observant people indicates that a typical 50ml bottle of perfume allows for approximately 375 sprays. If this guy and his grandma want to sell his service for 50cents a pop, they can swim in a lake of silver coins. Or, if they decide to double it to a very reasonable dollar a pop, they can swim in a sea of gold coins. Either way, it probably will work. Why? Because people are short sighted.

Why would you pay a hundred for a bottle of perfume when you can go down to the shop when you need to, to have someone who occupies The Easiest Job In The World spray you and have you cross his palm with a coin? It’s just like buying cigarettes by the stick in Thailand. You don’t notice because you can pay for your stick with the bounty gotten from the uncharted recesses of your couch, but you die..eventually. Maybe that was a bad analogy, but you get my drift.

I hope, if the idea does succeed, that they never introduce a “credit” system. People would see the Machiavellian scheme for all that it is, and never, ever return to have their odoriferous bodies made morally admissible by the cleansing fire of Chanel No.5.

Besides, do you see the felicitous existence led by Duck McScrooge in the title picture? Do you? He is diving into a pile of coins. A pile of gold coins. His fowl-ish features embody joy incarnate, the abundance of which radiates outwards in a halo of  neurons firing unadulterated dopamine, contorting his face into an enraptured display of avaricious glee. The flowers sown in the grey matter that is fowl brain bloom in all their resplendent colours, the birds which nestle in his headspace tweet their enthralling sonnets in a timbre befitting the aural equivalent of saccharine sweet milk and honey, and the vestal farmer’s daughter proclaims her love for assisting the big veiny woodcutter in all his wood-felling gallantry with a lilting haiku. The Duck is happy.

As long as you aren’t TV’s Monk, you would want to dive into a pile of gold coins. Diving into coins makes anybody happy. What better way to amass  a vault of coins  than to sell perfume spritzes for shillings?

p.s “Spay me baby” isn’t an embarrassing typo which I first concluded upon initial viewing, it’s because of a grandmother who is the corporeal form of adorable. Go look at the video. That, or the entrant is oblivious to the ignominy of being spayed.

Here’s the video : http://www.ultimatestartupspace.com.sg/#/rate-entry/13

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3 Responses to “Spay Me?”

  1. Alan Says:

    Damn awesome post. the blogger needs to revel in the glory of his/her post.

  2. OngSooSan Says:

    What an intriguing post! I will recommend this website to my son IvanOng!

  3. She Says:

    Interesting!

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