The Ultimate Shaman Space

RAAAAAGE, courtesy of the Intellectual Gamer

Option A) Send girlfriend for anger management therapy. Option B) Stop living in your C Grade anime comic book

I refer to an interesting Martell VSOP Ultimate Start Up Space entry from a certain Ms. Elize Kawauchi, whose idea very blatantly invokes the trope “Misery loves company”.. with extreme prejudice. Not only does Ms. Kawauchi egregiously pepper her summary with hackneyed clichés (see also : All Crying Girls Eat Dairy Products By The Tubful), she also conjures up shamanistic imagery with her promise of delivering voodoo curses and the like. She calls her shop a “healing sanctuary” for God’s sake! she some kind of wiccan who delivers bovine dairy goodness imbued with psychopathological healing powers or is she a shaven shaman replete with skull adorned belt and twisty walking stick who surreptitiously offers up a crude voodoo doll with button on eyes while generously applying “Kali-Ma! Kali-Ma!” in boisterous doses? I mean, why do these people act like they’re trading Cataclysmic Armageddon Devices under the table when they start hollering at the top of their voices not one minute later anyway? Youssa tayk dis voodoo an stik de pin an yer boyfren he feel da payn.

But seriously, Singapore loves clichés. I too loved it when I saw it. I mean, low cal frozen yoghurt? Dartboard with face of offending ex-boyfriend? Mock voodoo doll? Tissue strewn floor? I know of many a girl who will happily bite the bait and weep balefully while doling out wad after wad of cash, judgment clouded by their salty, salty tears. Ms. Kawauchi can expect her shop to be inundated with intransigent females wailing gratingly and generally being nuisances because the world clearly revolves around them when they’re sad. Who cares if the mournful women come out feeling a little lighter only in the vicinity of their waist pockets? Ms Kawauchi is going to make money, and probably spawn plenty of similar ventures. I’ve heard of a company which provides angry men the chance to vent on defenseless old cars, by arming them with blunt weapons and a devil may care attitude towards property damage.

It might sound incredibly gimmicky, but Ms Elize Kawauchi probably could market it as a self aware concept store which gives an ironic nod towards the phenomenon of crying females. Or, because I don’t know the extent of her earnestness, she could go for a full fledged cry-your-heart-out-and-don’t-worry-the-tissues-cost-five-dollars-a-pop store.

Whatever. I like it because its new. Ooh..Shiny. Oh, and you can rate her idea at The Ultimate Start Up Space :


One Response to “The Ultimate Shaman Space”

  1. norms Says:

    Youssa tayk dis voodoo an stik de pin an yer boyfren he feel da payn.

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